Under the labels
Am I a graphic designer? An art director? An artist? Who knows.
All I know is that since I’ve gained consciousness my spare time was always spent drawing, researching different topics (for a long time I was fascinated by wild animals) and hanging out with people I care about.
But I also know that the following story is part of the reason why I am who I am today.
When I was about 10/11 yo my mom took me to a ceramic painting course in our small Italian town. There I met Claudia and entered her small but complicated world for the first time. At first she taught me some basic stuff, like how to paint a leaf on a tile, after that it was all practice.
These were my first few attempts:
Her way of teaching was so simple: just try to copy what you see. What’s next to the subject? And what’s behind? Where does the light came from? How can you recreate the light effects on the water with a brush?
Easy: look, understand, think, recreate. You’ve made a mistake? You can correct it.
Then Claudia had to close her shop and move her little course to her house. She decided that she was going to start painting on canvas instead of ceramic and obviously, I followed her. Bye bye ceramic, welcome oil colors.
In 2011 I started high school and I chose the science path. Why? I love science. And at the time I pictured my future self as a neuroscientist or as a psychiatrist. In the meantime I kept painting with Claudia and the group of young ladies that had joined the group over the years. (They were all my grandma’s age, except Claudia, who was actually my mum’s).
These are some of the paintings I made during high school:
With a couple of them I entered an art contest for all kinds of high schools in the area and won second place.
Unfortunately, during the last year of high school I stopped painting. It’s always been the first thing I give up when I have something else going on. Why? It’s a question that I can’t answer, even today. Maybe because I never really wanted to be a painter, maybe bacause I never really thought I was actually capable enough. So it wasn’t worth it.
Around the end of last year I realized that science couldn’t analyze things in a polyhedral way like I wanted, but art could. But again, there was the fear of being stuck with painting for the rest of my life. So which university did I choose? Graphic design and art direction. The opportunity to study, think and design everything.
So I started my new adventure in Milan as a student at NABA and after a year I felt the necessity to paint again, so I made “Prelude”, the crowdy-forest you will see under the section ‘paintings’. This painting is a copy of an existing photograph that I felt captured my emotions perfectly. And only through painting every detail of that picture I could finally free myself from those emotions. And for the first time, I felt like I made something real.
But then I stopped painting for other two years.
Maybe the reason is that in order to paint my emotions I need time and peace of mind to be able to explore and process them. And the university I chose didn’t allow it. Not because it was particularly hard or anything, but because it really drained almost all my energy. During those years, thanks to some unprofessional professors, I felt like the path I chose was wrong. Like I was wrong as a person.
At the end of those three shitty years, I presented my thesis, “Liquido”. It wasn’t the project of a lifetime, but just my attempt to understand disinformation better and suggest an app that made it easier for people to get accurate information on a variety of topics.
Well, a few days after my graduation the Covid-19 pandemic started, and here I am, painting again and ready for the future with my newborn portfolio of past experiences.